Another year and no blogs

Just remember if you think about blogging it's just as good. So lot has changed around here and it looks like this place has built up a bit. I now have pictures on the wall and extra furniture! Who would have thought all I needed was a womans touch. Also the fact that I aquired her furniture in a hostile take over that would rival those of Charlie Sheen in "Wall street." So I know I haven't blogged in a while but be cheery I am about to make another promise to blog again sometime this upcoming year. (Hold you breath because itsacomin)

Another Christmas and new year pass

I had a fairly eventful holiday season. I had a new and not so much fun lay over in Salt lake City land of the mormons and bars that close at 8pm. I would like to think that I had a very night of the living mormons set at the SLC airport but really it wasn't so bad. They had fairly comfortable seating and I was able to sleep a few hours with out loosing my baggage. I caught an early flight to Vegas and even won a few bucks just enough to pay for lunch. I even got some nice gifts this year.

For new years eve I had a rather chill one! I was happy not to have to fight the crowds and actually be around the people I care about. Swing dancing, kungfu chaos and hot potato were the highlights of the night. No hang over so that is always a plus! Anyway happy new year everyone:)

Now boarding...

How fair is it for me to be leaving chicago for a mini vacation to cali to only arrive to the same weather? Doesn't seem right. I am sure it will be cold and raining when I get there. At least if you hope for the worst anything else looks good by compairison!

Laws of attraction.

How great would it be if the laws of science applied to human relationships. When looking for a mate most people look for attractiveness, intelligence, humor, athleticism, or plain old money. Well if I had it my way the laws of attraction for people would be the same as the would be in the scientific world. Your mass directly effects how attractive you are. So the larger you are the more gravitational pull you have and people will just fall into you. Basically the skinnier ones would go first because they have less mass and would just get gobbled up like a decaying satellite. The real magic would begin only when to large masses get to close to one another. Would they make some singularly massive couple? Would they have some sort of elliptical orbit around each other where their gravity would shift from time to time? I guess if we were to apply this to real world it would be like a Angelina to Brad or a Elvis to a fried peanut butter and jelly and banana sandwich.

Bless their Deformed little heart

I was watching a comic the other day and one of his bits was how his wife was from the south. She would say the most awful things about a person and would make up for it by saying "bless their heart." Since then if I saw something different or odd I would think to myself "Wow look at that mullet wearing, old style drinking, stained sleeveless tshirt redneck! Bless his heart" and I would feel instantly feel better about being a elitist. That's the lesson today I think you should all go out and make fun of something you shouldn't but add the bless their heart on the end and everything is right as rain.

Dawgy or Katty

I've been reading a blog by a brilliant woman with two kids and a famous little dag. His name is mouse and he use to blog pretty regularly over at Savemouse. It's in a form of phonetic writing that only some people can read right away. I guess I am so speech>word focused that it just came natural. Give that blog a shot it is so worth the time to even read back through the old posts!

Well to the real point of this post! I am trying to decide whether to get a dog or a cat. I like both and they each have their own strong/negative points. I like cats easy to manage but most of the time they just aren't as fun as dogs. I've been thinking about rescuing a Greyhound. They are so cool looking and super lazy just like me. I only run for mechanical bunnies as well. As far as being responsible for an animal? Not so much... But to my defense I am a slacker. Anyway I think I should just get a girlfriend with a dog. Any ladies out there looking for a guy who is going to use you for your dog?

Ok Bitches

So it looks like I am officially the home of Baz. I posted once about it and I think I get more hits because of that one post than all my other ones combined x2. Anyway I am just acknowledging this because everything I look all I get are hits from the UK looking for Baz's song.

Anyway rant ended. I haven't posted in a while Sorry! I've been doing the same, seeing some funny things to actually blog about but as fast as they come they go even faster. So I will try a little harder catching them all in short hand notes and maybe I will just scan the images and piece them together like some odd illiterate photo blog.

Section 3:Importing your Asian bride

Now that you have chosen your bride and exchanged vows the next step is to import your Chinese bride.

3:1 Shipping and handling.

Now first thing you want to remember is to always poke holes in the box you are shipping her in. (The results of skipping this step is varied but you may have to start over from the beginning. )

3:2 Knowing your Bride and options.

After filling out which options you wanted in section 2 please check all options thoroughly. The warranty is voided if any part is broken or removed. (30 day limited warranty) Your bride comes fully assembled. (Please contact support if any parts are missing.) Please register your bride by filling out the Registration card or by going to our website.

3:3 Billing and Taxes.

You will receive your bill in the mail within the first 2 weeks of arrive of your bride. Please be sure to pay within the 7 days or contract is forfeit.(Please save all included packaging this included wedding ring and accessories such as pets and the pink corvette) Please fill out all taxes forms in triplicate if "bride-to-be" is going to be used as tax shelter. (Please skip step if this does not apply)

3:4 Trouble shooting.

Please refer to the back of the manual for trouble shooting any known issues with your bride(IE: morning breath, split ends, chipped finger nails.)

3:5 Refunds.

THERE ARE NO REFUNDS.

PS: Congrats to the Allan and Joliet! Welcome to the family:)

Adventures of Green Eyed Boy and his side kick Envy

Looks like I am the last of my kind. Seeing everyone is engaged, married, or otherwise taken by the opposite sex it seems like I've missed the train to white picket fences with intermittent stops at green yards and blue minivans. I just recently found out two more of us singlilus bachelorettus have gone down the commitment route. Don't get me wrong I am happy for each of them, but it does have a tendency to bring out the envy monster in all of us. I feel like I've been the token everything in my circle of friends so maybe its just in the stars that I am to be uncle that everyone uses as a reference what not to do. Maybe I will be that old guy who stares at his bottle of Pabst blue ribon in the corner booth playing emo punk songs about how love sucks and wishing everyone would just die! Or maybe I should just smile and shutup and be happy for everyone else....

Listen we need to talk...

Over the past years since the Ipod has been out it went from "The underground I had the tshirt before they became popular kid." to the "wannabee the underground kid" to the "what color is your Ipod kid" to the "my 45 year old mom has a pink and a gold one depending on her outfit kid." At this point I am done with apple. They make shitty computers and now that they have pretty much hit every possible target market accept the elderly, but I may eat my words on this one because the Ipod emergency alert device is going to be HOT! Comes in Oxygen tank silver, Mothball white, and Liverspot black.

At this point I am ready to walk away. Call it quits with the thought of even owning one. She's not for me, her jog wheel has been around the block a few to many times if you know what I mean. Besides do you really want halfsy Ipod babies....