Now serving Asians...

Wow I'm Here in Lincolnwood panera, one of the northern most blocks of Chicago, and its teeming with Asians. I've never seen so many of us drinking coffee, eating bread(hell I didn't even know Asians liked bread. I am not even sure they are allowed to even say "bread" for fear of upsetting the other carbohyrdrate) and sitting around bumming free internet(ok that was me there were other people to damnit). I even took a picture of a group of Asians really excited to to be in a Panera for the first time. What happened to the whole back of the bus/no Asiago bread for those gull dang Asian days? Boy the world is really changing over night... I really can't keep up. Soon we might even be able to play hockey and wear ascots while smoking a pipe.
Yelo4eva!

Today is not the worst day of my life...

I've been making a lot of references to Office Space lately. I hate my job much like Peter does in the movie. Every work day is the worst day of my life. Not today, today was a not so bad of a day! My boss who I dislike to say the least asked for my help to scan in a document to edit. Now he was being kind of dodgey saying things like "oh you can just tell me how to do it. I'm sure I can figure it out." After trying, he couldn't... So showing him how to do it, I didn't even notice what the document was till he mentioned to keep this on the "down low." Turns out he's getting his resume ready. I'm trying to keep from laughing, while agreeing with him that anyone at anytime can lose his/her job here at ABT. So knowing he's preparing for a quick departure really really makes my day! Hopefully I will be gone soon after!

1 year down... Rest of our lives to go...

So I just wanted to say something about 2 married friends of mine. They both were married around the same time last year so that means we they both at their 1 year anni. One has a kid, the other has a dog... Funny how things work out. They are both picking up poop of some kind. Yeah I will let you know when I find something appealing about marriage...

I've got to stop watching food TV naked...

Ok, so admitting to watching food TV for information isn't so bad. When you watch it for the fun sexual innuendo Rachel ray likes to throw out there it becomes something rather depraved. The show today was chock full of them! "I love my nuts, I can't get enough of them." and "I just love how it tastes and feels" come on people... Anyway she can come cook in my kitchen anytime! If you know what I mean!
:)

Ominous tidings...

Much like the glowing skull of the Death eaters I have seen a very similar mark in my own companies ranks. It comes not by a magic but by email! If one sees "Updated phone listings" someone has met with the ax or worse He who must not be named!(In otherwords Harry) Only way to tell who has been sacked is to open this file up and scan for any names you should see but do not. On this day we bury Ryan, a so-so salesperson who I'm sure was home sleeping more often than trying to sell anything. Oh well...Where's my forty?

Get out of my dreams... and into my car?

Finished Harry Potter and the half-blood prince a few days ago. I have mixed feelings about it. For the sake of people who haven't finished yet I am not going to give any details. For the past couple of nights I've been having HP dreams usually just small things like talking to Hermoine, Ginny and Ron on the common room. Although I am not Harry, we all seem to talk like friends. If that isn't strange enough Ginne turned into Monica Bellucci(at least I think thats her name). Odd eh? One of her movies was on in the background as I was reading the book so maybe she leaked in somewhere. I think I will drop a note to J.K.R. to make the change for the next book. The books are missing that italian sex goddess feel...

'arry Potta fans!!!!

Lemme see some action in the back section? Wave your hands like you just don't care?

Ha sorry, anyway so I bought my book from Amazon. There was a little side note saying that anyone using a "more frugal" shipping rate may not get their book on time for release date. Of course I immediately called the person responsible for telling me that I would receive my book the day of. Oh blew up like test dummy Buster from "Mythbusters." Anyway so I did some wrong doing and I purchased a 2nd book knowing full well I was going to return the Amazon book when it arrived 6 days late. So I arranged for a midnight pick up being the huge geek I am from Barns and Noble. I actually went to a party the night of and of course being the spoiled little brat I am I still expected to be able to pick up my book at 1am. So Leaving the party at midnight I sped all the way home and pull in to the lot of the book store. Being the undeserving lucky bastard(my friends will swear to this) that I am, I of course was the last person in line I got my book in less than 2 minutes. After phoning someone to find out the status of their night and line waiting like the common Muggle, she mentioned she had waited a considerably longer than 2 minutes. I gloated like Hermione in D.A.D.A class. So come Saturday my doorbell rings and look what it is... My book from Amazon actually did come on time. Slightly annoyed ,I guess all my planning and scheming all out the window. Yet again... If it wasn't for you FUCKING kids... I would have gotten away with it

I think I lost some taste buds...

OK so on my way to Bonnie's little family get together, I was mindlessly flipping through the radio the way actually this very same friend hates. So the default station put on a song I really didn't like so I changed it without really thinking about it. The song had just started and I really didn't give it any thought until the DJ said the name and song title after it was over. It was Lenny Kravits... I want to fly away. I verbally said "What the fuck am I listening to" and quickly changed it to some fun Kasavian song, but Hell I think I seriously damaged some of my musical taste buds...

Green light... Red light...

Hmmm sometimes i rather it just be one color...

Sticky rice vs the world

Wow have you ever noticed what a weird word yellow is? And no I not on anything. I've been looking around on friendster and is it me or do the yellows like to stick together like glutinous rice? Every Asian on friendster has at least 5 group shots with no less than 5 no more 20 other yellows in the background. I think I missed line where they were handed out the cute Asian crews. I have one yellow friend I'm pretty sure we hang out to keep each other honest. Being around white people can do funny things to you. Like eat chop suey and crab rangoon all the while thinking man I wish I could cook authentic Chinese like this Mexican line cook! Maybe its a pack mentality. Keeps the group relatively safe from the yellow fevered white boys who want their little Asian sex toy. You can just picture it...

Asian 1: Oh I think we lost May... Where did she go? She was right behind me...
Asian 2: just keep moving there's another one! Oh my god he's driving a civic with a stripe on it... RUN!

I guess the Asian bond is like the water in the rice cooker eh?

A thing you don't see to often anymore...

I guess this was pretty common back in the day to have grandmothers at 30. By a few degrees of separation I know of a woman who is now likely to be going to jail soon(another fucked up story) who is a grandmother of 2 grand children(well now only 1 actually) at the age of 35. Now her daughter is 21 years of age. That would have made the grandmother 14 when she had her first child(knocked up at age 13). Like the old saying goes the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. The daughter has a 5 year old daughter, which would have made her 14 when she knocked up. Now I understand that not all white people with the red in the neck affliction aren't actually this bad, but wow... Just wow.

Lets go over the math of when each of our respective parents became mothers shall we?

grandmother 35-21 = 14!
Daughter 21-5=16!

So if everything goes to plan our lovely grand mother will become a great grandmother by age of 53 and a great great grandmother at the ripe old age 73 and a great great great grandmother at 95. Seeing as the age limit of procreation is +2 years each generation.