House bling...

Ok, I drive past this one house every single day. It has large white columns and looks like a nice house. Right out in front there are these two giant ass statues of lions roaring. For a long time they were the same color as the house. I guess in recent years they decided that it looked pretty shitty to have white giant ass roaring lion statues. They have now painted them yellow and brown. It adds a much more realistic giant ass roaring lion look I am sure they were going for in the first place. Now they have two semi-realistic brown and yellow giant ass roaring lion statues guarding the front door. Can you imagine any person who had to ring their doorbell? Oh my god 2 semi-realistic giant ass stone lions are going to attack me. I am done for!*eiiiiiiii* (I will post a pic as soon as I can summon the courage to get close enough!)

Tasty Triangle Tortillas!

So I partook in a snack size bag doritos today. It's not normally something I eat, but today it just felt right. To my delight and surprise on the bag said "Now better tasting." As if a bag of cheesy nacho flavored chips could get even "better tasting." I couldn't wait to bust open that bag and try the new flavor that will change my life for the better. To be honest... It kinda tasted about the same to me... fucking Frito Lay god damn liars.

You know you have problems when...

You have a dream about your 18 year old close friend's sister...

You are wine tasting at 3:30 in the afternoon...

Bringing the worst pie ever to someone's party...

Watching 40 year old virgin and finding way to many fucking similarities to laugh at...

Going to frozen wastes of Canadia to get drunk...

I've decided...

I think it's safe to say that I dislike my neighboring states. Reading over my previous blogs on my interstate travels I think it is pretty clear. Wisconsin has to many mullets and Indiana smells bad. Do I even need to mention Missouri? I am still on the fence about Iowa, but don't count your cows before they are born Iowa! So there you have it... My Acute scalene triangle of hate.