Drowning my sorrows on the train... (literally)

On the train ride back into the burbs today I rode a pretty crowded train. The AC was off in that particular car and we all know how lovely 30 people sweating smells! So raining like cats and dogs today the train seemed to be taking on water! Between the cars the entry way sections were filling up with water and as people were opening and closing the doors water kept spilling in. I'm glad I choose the high ground on the double Decker train or else I wouldn't be alive to blog about it! Anyway the two lesbians made the rest of the ride home enjoyable. They talked about their bowling league, how to get those hard to remove stains out of their flannel, and how badly men suck...

We gona fuck you up good!

36 deadly dolphins are now loose in the golf of Mexico. These dolphins have been trained in the art of ninjitsu and other various asian killing techniques. Today is the day the dolphins strike back at the tuna fleets and Marine life trainers for the torture they have suffered over the many years. To any of you who think we are going to do anymore fucking back flips I got a poison dart aimed at your eye ball!

I'm in the wrong racket...

I saw something strange the other day. I was in the Bank one building downtown and I was waiting to be let up to see a client. While I was waiting I witnessed something I haven't really noticed before. The guy behind the security desk was handed a couple hundred dollar bills by another guy in a workers uniform. Now I'm scratching my head going damn I wonder what this worker is passing hundred dollar bills to another person for on the "Down-low." The worker had some heavy looking box he was carrying out with him. So if something bad happens at the bank one building(which I don't think is going to) I'm totally calling it right now! I'm sure the guy was only stealing something valuable. :)

Sad day for Chicago...

Today Macy's announced that they are changing the Marshall Field's name. The famous New York retail store is changing all the Marshall Field's stores to "Macy's." Chicago isn't second city to NYC or LA we are unique, we are original. It's honestly upsetting that we are loosing a company that was founded in 1851 right here in Chicago. The State Street location with its famous clock will be changed to better suit the Macy's chain. The weathered copper Marshall Field's placard will be taken down and replaced with another. Chicago is slowly losing it's identity from its arena's to the Trump tower. I hope the city I love doesn't become some cookie cutter splitting image of another city. Oh and clearly Mayor Daley another famous Chicago institution could care fucking less.

FEED THE BITCH!

OK! I watched Kitchen Confidential fully ready to hate the bastard for selling out! Now in all honesty I think I am a big enough person to eat my words! So I fucking loved the show(which basically means its going to be canceled in a few episodes)! It's not quite as fucked up as the book but it's TV. I enjoy it... I enjoy it a lot! I love the cast Harold(Harold and Kumar), Xander(Buffy), Zack(wedding crashers),Goldie(sin city), and directed by none other than Kevin(wonder years). Anyway everyone please watch it I am seriously sick of every fucking show I actually like going off the air... YES I BLAME YOU ALL OF YOU

The possibilities...

Hmmm, So some random IT guy asked me out for lunch some time. I am not sure how I should take it though. Is this some sort of date? Is he going to offer me a position? I dono I will keep you informed if he tries to make out with me or not...

New form of electronic crack...

Apple is putting out the latest form of Ipod. It's fittingly called Nano. Another way of Tempting me from my hard earned cash. Damn apple and their to cool for school mp3 players. Gah I want one!!!!!

Fuck that Don Johnson...

Hello my name is Don Johnson. Yes, yes Don Johnson knows what your thinking "wow is he's still alive?" To answer that, Yes Don Johnson is still alive. Don Johnson has had many many great television shows such as "Miami Vice" "Walker Texas Ranger" and "Everyone Loves Don Johnson." Don Johnson thinks you should donate to Don Johnson's favorite charity "Pastel leisure suits for the Poor" Right now Don Johnson is working hard for the victims of that bitch in beige Katrina. Don Johnson wants everyone to know Don Johnson cares about the Poor's state of emergency fashion situation. So please donate anything Periwinkle, Mint, Light Pink, Sea Foam, and Sky Blue. Any other colors need not be sent. Remember even in the devastation of Katrina there is no need for these poor souls to be fashion victims as well. Don Johnson thanks you...

Slackers...

Have you ever had to wait for something you really wanted? Only a few more months and it will be complete... Damn slackers... Could have started a few months earlier and it would be done now... grr

Hey can you see the stars in LA?

Wow, so there are a lot of weird things going on. LA is with out power now. They are saying it was just one of the stations that's a major artery went down. Honestly I am shocked there is no looting or murders yet. I guess it was to out of the blue for people to get their looting outfits ready before hand. Well at least no white, rich, and/or pretty people were harmed in this horrible horrible inconvenience.

Priceless...

Used 8lb Bowling ball from the Salvation army- $8 Canadian

Chain and lock Home Depot - $6 Canadian

Level Vodka and Tonics at the hotel - $25 Canadian

Making a twinky sandwich with the man of the hour - Priceless...

The prayer for the wicked hang over...

Canada is a fun place to drink and also get sick in apparently. After drinking 6-7 pre-drinks(VnT of course) and having a shot just before we went to the bars was probably not a good idea. After drinking that much I think I only had a few more drinks at the bars. Well it looks as if I am bowing out, but in reality I am praying that I don't have to drink another shitty gallon of cheap beer. The stamps by the way are more than just entrance stamps they symbolize how many fights I tried to pick with all the large black bouncers I ran into... Yeah I'm crazy tough...

I wish I had a Guinness for every time you've droned on...

People in skirts holding bags of air and pipes. Damn that sexy! I am not sure what appeal of bag pipes are but I love that droning sound that they make. I guess its the same reason I like techno and electronic music. With a cold Guinness and sound of bag pipes is a damn fine time if you ask me! Violent Fems were the head liners but we really didn't see them as much as heard them from a few blocks away. I was disappointed I didn't get a corndog because I only seem to get them at these sort of block parties. The gyro was good even if it was bleeding oil and tzatziki sauce everywhere. Anyway the summer is going to be gone soon and hopefully I can squeeze one more outdoor festival in some place. On the way home we saw a very drunk saint poly's girl carrying about 100 plastic steins and saying to random strangers how much she had to pee.

Funny joke...

How many ABT employees does it take to screw on a cover....

Three,

One Asian with a screw driver yelling expletives...

and two warehouse guys laughing their asses of...

Bi-sexuals the world is your slightly used sex toy...

I just got back from the icy land of Canadia! It was definitely an experience. I started in Toronto and ended up in Montreal. We drank pretty much at all the bars on Saint Katherine's. The drive east was interesting. Jon my newly found Canadian friend who smokes a little to much had the quote of the entire trip "Wish I liked the taste of cock in my mouth but I don't." Just to put it in a little perspective we were talking about how bi-sexuals have the greatest advantage to getting some. They sit on the fence till something comes along and they pounce like kitty on catnip! Anyway I had to much to drink and the food was amazing. Even though it is Canada, I have to say I enjoyed the city full of froggies. Maybe I will post something a little more in depth but for now lets say things sorta got out of hand! HA
BD

Wow Katrina is a bitch...

I guess I should comment on our little storm over in the big easy. Nature can be really mean sometimes and I for one try not to fuck with her. Whether it's Tornados here in Chicago, Earthquakes in Cali, or hurricanes off the coasts, you really can't be safe living anywhere. I think the tragedy here in the situation is not the loss of property or even the loss of life from this natural disaster, it's how humans like rats and cockroaches are opportunistic. The murder, rape and theft is the truly horrifying. It is not something natural or random act of god, its human beings at their worst because they simply can. I've never been a religious person even though I was raised catholic and for a city to be pretty much wiped off the face of the earth I want to believe there was a reason. Besides some holy smiting action on the deserving might make the victims feel a little better.

Paluka Polite vs Mannerly Manny

Imagine two of the politest people in the world meeting for the first time. Pleasant to talk to, holds open doors, and all that junk. Now when two people like that run into each other can you guess what happens? It's much like same ends of a magnet they repulse each other. They have long stand offs over who should go through the door first. Slowly waving the other to go by first. They race to the next door to hold it open for the other. They wait patiently for the other to stop speaking. Eventually the two end up in fisticuffs rolling around on the floor. Until one of them is dead. That is the way civil people handle their differences!